Glenn Foden BusinessandMedia.Org Jul 11, 2008 |
ANTIGONOS' BRAIN
| Your Brain is Green |
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Friday, July 11, 2008
Monday, July 07, 2008
The Cousins
After years and years of prevarication ("You must admit, Israel is dangerous!" To which I reply, "more dangerous than LA or the Bronx??") recently two sets of my American cousins have come to visit. After a childhood in which numerous relatives would descend on us and expect us to give them the 5 star tour of my hometown, Washington, DC., I thought I was prepared for this task.
We are something of an odd family. My mother had two sisters and a brother, all older and all had been born in Russia. Her siblings married young, and had their children young, and Mother married late, and had me when she was 40, so I have nearly no other relative in the family who is my contemporary. This strange, sort of "split level" family tree, combined with our penchant for moving all over the world, means that we aren't a tight-knit bunch.
Sue, and her husband Rob, arrived first. Sue's father is my mother's older brother, but she's several years younger than I am, and because of family politics, I'd never met her before (or only once; we were unsure, not recognizing each other at all) I doubt they would ever have come to Israel except that Rob's niece was graduating from an Israeli university where she's an exchange student.
Commandeering my daughter's car, I took them for a day trip to the north, to the Crusader castle at Belvoir (Kochav Yarden) and to kibbutz Lavi, to lunch at the Pagoda, a very good Chinese restaurant on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and then drove them back to Jerusalem via Megiddo and the coastal road. The night before, picking them up at their hotel, I took them to the Sherover Promenade which overlooks the Old City, and had Rob make the "Shchecheyanu" blessing that is appropriate for having a new or unique experience, and then took them to the Kotel (Western Wall). The Wall at night is quite impressive, but I got the feeling that, for them, it was pretty much just a wall.
But they loved wandering through the Machaneh Yehuda open-air market, and seeing what a real kibbutz was like, even though I realized they had some difficulty in understanding why anyone would want to live in one (apart from the lovely landscaping). Rob told me he wasn't interested in historical places anywhere as near as much as seeing how people lived.
On their final day in Jerusalem I drove them to Masada, where we met up with more of Rob's family, including his married daughter. His son-in-law asked so many questions which showed he knew next to nothing about Jewish history that I asked Sue if he was Jewish (neither his name nor his appearance gave any hint). "Oh yes, " she said, "he's from quite an Orthodox home". What she meant by this was that he would go to the synagogue on Yom Kippur.
Then, just last week, the Los Angeles contingent arrived. There is a program, underwritten by American Jewish philanthropists in conjunction with the Israeli government, called "Birthright" which gives American Jewish teenagers a free, guided trip to Israel, lasting a week or so. That's how Lowell got here, several years ago. He's the exact contemporary of my son, but one generation further on, if you get my meaning. His mother Ellen's grandmother and my mother were sisters. He returned to the States so enthusiastic about Israel that he convinced the entire family to come on a visit.
They did it in style, taking a licensed tour guide with a van (there were a total of five persons, which made it impossible to stuff them all in my car) for most of the time. The guide must have had his work cut out, because they had even less knowledge of what they were being shown than my other cousins, and these cousins were interested in visiting all the de rigueur "places", like the Knesset, Yad Vashem and the Supreme Court building and rather obviously weren't all that keen on open air markets, etc.
It was nice, but tiring, and mildly depressing. I'm glad they came, and I'm glad I got to know them better. But if they are at all typical of the "average" American non-Orthodox Jew, and I think they are, I don't have a lot of hope for Jewish survival in the US for more than another couple of generations.
None of them could read Hebrew, not even enough for the prayers. None of them knew any of the traditional liturgy. None of them had more than the vaguest idea of Jewish history, either in the Land or worldwide. None of them knew what the Talmud consisted of (let alone had ever peeked inside one) nor of the commandments which are particular to Israel such as tithes, the sabbatical year, etc., or even many of the commandments at all. None keep kosher, for example. In other words, these very nice, intelligent people were entirely ignorant of their heritage, and quite happy to be so. It just doesn't have any relevance to them.
Long ago, my father predicted that while there would continue to be Jews in Russia, because of the persecution and anti-Semitism there, Israeli Jews would identify themselves more as Israelis than Jews, and that there would no longer be a Jewish community in the US because it would entirely assimilate. I fear he may be right, some day.
We are something of an odd family. My mother had two sisters and a brother, all older and all had been born in Russia. Her siblings married young, and had their children young, and Mother married late, and had me when she was 40, so I have nearly no other relative in the family who is my contemporary. This strange, sort of "split level" family tree, combined with our penchant for moving all over the world, means that we aren't a tight-knit bunch.
Sue, and her husband Rob, arrived first. Sue's father is my mother's older brother, but she's several years younger than I am, and because of family politics, I'd never met her before (or only once; we were unsure, not recognizing each other at all) I doubt they would ever have come to Israel except that Rob's niece was graduating from an Israeli university where she's an exchange student.
Commandeering my daughter's car, I took them for a day trip to the north, to the Crusader castle at Belvoir (Kochav Yarden) and to kibbutz Lavi, to lunch at the Pagoda, a very good Chinese restaurant on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and then drove them back to Jerusalem via Megiddo and the coastal road. The night before, picking them up at their hotel, I took them to the Sherover Promenade which overlooks the Old City, and had Rob make the "Shchecheyanu" blessing that is appropriate for having a new or unique experience, and then took them to the Kotel (Western Wall). The Wall at night is quite impressive, but I got the feeling that, for them, it was pretty much just a wall.
But they loved wandering through the Machaneh Yehuda open-air market, and seeing what a real kibbutz was like, even though I realized they had some difficulty in understanding why anyone would want to live in one (apart from the lovely landscaping). Rob told me he wasn't interested in historical places anywhere as near as much as seeing how people lived.
On their final day in Jerusalem I drove them to Masada, where we met up with more of Rob's family, including his married daughter. His son-in-law asked so many questions which showed he knew next to nothing about Jewish history that I asked Sue if he was Jewish (neither his name nor his appearance gave any hint). "Oh yes, " she said, "he's from quite an Orthodox home". What she meant by this was that he would go to the synagogue on Yom Kippur.
Then, just last week, the Los Angeles contingent arrived. There is a program, underwritten by American Jewish philanthropists in conjunction with the Israeli government, called "Birthright" which gives American Jewish teenagers a free, guided trip to Israel, lasting a week or so. That's how Lowell got here, several years ago. He's the exact contemporary of my son, but one generation further on, if you get my meaning. His mother Ellen's grandmother and my mother were sisters. He returned to the States so enthusiastic about Israel that he convinced the entire family to come on a visit.
They did it in style, taking a licensed tour guide with a van (there were a total of five persons, which made it impossible to stuff them all in my car) for most of the time. The guide must have had his work cut out, because they had even less knowledge of what they were being shown than my other cousins, and these cousins were interested in visiting all the de rigueur "places", like the Knesset, Yad Vashem and the Supreme Court building and rather obviously weren't all that keen on open air markets, etc.
It was nice, but tiring, and mildly depressing. I'm glad they came, and I'm glad I got to know them better. But if they are at all typical of the "average" American non-Orthodox Jew, and I think they are, I don't have a lot of hope for Jewish survival in the US for more than another couple of generations.
None of them could read Hebrew, not even enough for the prayers. None of them knew any of the traditional liturgy. None of them had more than the vaguest idea of Jewish history, either in the Land or worldwide. None of them knew what the Talmud consisted of (let alone had ever peeked inside one) nor of the commandments which are particular to Israel such as tithes, the sabbatical year, etc., or even many of the commandments at all. None keep kosher, for example. In other words, these very nice, intelligent people were entirely ignorant of their heritage, and quite happy to be so. It just doesn't have any relevance to them.
Long ago, my father predicted that while there would continue to be Jews in Russia, because of the persecution and anti-Semitism there, Israeli Jews would identify themselves more as Israelis than Jews, and that there would no longer be a Jewish community in the US because it would entirely assimilate. I fear he may be right, some day.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Snorkle! #2
Lisa Benson Victor Valley Daily Press Jul 4, 2008 |
But I do wish our Glorious Leaders would shut up. Iran will be SO disappointed if we DON'T attack...
Thursday, July 03, 2008
What The Well-Dressed Israeli Med Student Wears
Dunkin' Doughnuts never made it in Israel, and I couldn't quite understand why until I read this . Seriously, though, it's a good comment on our sartorial practices.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I Got Dem "Ol' Green Bus Blues" Again
Ben Gurion was rather naive about some things. He couldn't see why Israel needed more than one cigarette factory, for example, or more than one clothes factory--surely, one brand of cigarettes was enough, just as one style of clothing was too? His vision of Israel was that the country would be one giant kibbutz--free market competition was an evil his socialist utopia would never know.
And so, we've got the Egged Bus Cooperative.
Slightly less than a decade ago, new buses began appearing on Jerusalem's streets. At first glance, they looked a lot nicer than the antiquarian models that had greeted me when I first arrived--well, just about any bus would, since those were not only lacking in anything resembling air conditioning, they lacked upholstery, and frequently carried chickens, goats, and Yemenites who squatted in the aisles instead of sitting on the fiberglass seats. The new buses looked nicer than the more recent edition, circa 1980, which did sport upholstery, albeit dirty and stained, and had airconditioning and much less room for goats, chickens, dogs, etc. but had suspension systems in terminal paralysis.
The new buses were painted a dark, metallic green ("dead crab green" a writer to the Jerusalem Post's Letters to the Editor suggested, but I've never seen a dead crab that color) which made them almost invisible at night or in the twilight, but a large stylized "aleph" (for the first letter of "Egged") that looked like an X with a single wing was painted over the gas tank, thoughtfully providing a perfect sniper target. Later, after a number of motorists had collided with the buses, a white stripe was painted along the length of the bus at roof level. Another wag commented that someone in Egged must have a brother in the paint business, who had been stuck with several hundred gallons of forest green metallic paint and had unloaded it on the bus cooperative. It is really quite a depressing color.
Inside, there were several notable features. Seating on one side of the front part of the bus was single seat only, reducing the seating capacity by about 6 places. The seats immediately behind the driver, reserved for the blind and aged, were on a raised platform, so the person attempting to sit on one had to step up a steep step. The same was true in the rear part of the bus, which also made the aisle extremely narrow. As a result, the bus rode very low to the ground, and could "lean" even lower by hydraulics to permit people who couldn't step onto to the bus easier access, even if they couldn't manage to haul themselves into the seats reserved for the physically impaired. The rear door had a manually-operated floor panel that could be opened outwards to allow access by the wheelchair-bound -- if someone other than the person in the wheelchair would open and close it.
But what really came as a shock was that we had been led to believe that these vehicles were buses. They weren't. They are greenhouses. Made in Germany, for the cool climate and pallid sunshine of northern Europe, they have lovely giant, unopenable windows which soak up every bit of sun. Only a thin strip at the top can be opened an inch or so. In the Israeli climate, this has resulted in what I can only call "reverse air conditioning". The atmosphere in the buses is so sweltering that you actually feel cooler when you get off the bus into the usual 30 degree heat of the Jerusalem summer. And the very noisy and inadequate air conditioning (only noisy inside the bus; these buses are designed to lower outside noise pollution) replicates Turkish bath conditions with a vengeance: since we must all be ecologically-minded these days, the air conditioning does not use a refrigeration gas but passes the buses' air over a water-based cooling system, resulting in a 75% humidity inside the bus (which makes the 35C heat even hotter) while it is "only" about 35% outside. In the winter, the condensed moisture on the windows is enough to water a sizeable garden. Moreover, being built for tall Aryans, the hanging straps to clutch at (there are very few vertical bars) are far too high for most Jews, who tend to be short, to reach, which makes standing quite a perilous activity. If our older buses had rigid suspensions, these buses have the equivalent of trampolines--going over the slightest bump and everyone sways and bounces.
Advertisers soon realized that the large windows made it impossible to put large ads on the outside of the buses--so, for several years we had the strange situation where the adverts were plastered on anyway, preventing anyone from looking out, or knowing when to disembark. Now, we still have the ads, but they are cunningly printed on paper with tiny holes which let us see where we are.
It is with the utmost displeasure that I have to travel on these buses every day, usually 4 or 5 different ones. Of course, since Egged drivers are quite well paid, I'm sure they only drive in their brand new cars whenever they are off duty. Or maybe take taxis. This may be the only country in the developed world where passengers are happy to get on old buses in preference to the new ones.
I had really hoped that Egged itself would realize that these green buses do not suit and find some other supplier, but I was mistaken. Now we are getting the same buses in the longer, articulated style. Twice as much misery.
On a related topic:
A few weeks ago, something happened to the bus stop of the #18 bus on Yosi ben Yoezer St. It appeared to have collapsed, or been knocked over. Bus stops in Jerusalem are quite solid, with roofs against sun and rain, and metal on three sides, as a protection against terrorists. It's not really very easy to damage one. Some years ago, ultra-Orthodox youth burned a bunch of them, because they had "immodest" advertising, but that took some effort.
This bus stop stood in front of a small felafel/light meal restaurant run by a man named Shlomi. He does a good business, as do several other merchants with shops adjoining his, since people get on and off the bus all the time there.
It took Egged a bit of time to get its act together, but when they replaced the stop, they moved it about 50 meters down the street. Seems Shlomi had taken advantage of this very convenient "accident" to the stop to convince Egged that the stop had obscured his restaurant's window. Rumors began to circulate that he, or his father, had actually arranged for the stop's destruction. The other merchants, especially one who ran a small grocery store, named Ilan, started a counter-petition to get the stop put back right where it had been, and more than shakshouka has been simmering between them for the past couple of weeks.
I don't really care where the stop is, but this bus line is used by a lot of non-driving elderly and it is definitely difficult for some to get to the new stop. It certainly is difficult when you don't know where the bus will stop--some drivers are still stopping at the old site, and some at the new.
Today, we got resolution, of a sort. The stop was replaced at its old site. I'm sure there will be a new chapter next week. Keep tuned....
And so, we've got the Egged Bus Cooperative.
The Quintessential Israeli Shaggy Dog Story:
A man and his dog get on an Egged bus in Tel Aviv. He pays two fares, and the dog sits on the seat beside him. As the bus heads toward Afula, it quickly fills up so that when a little old lady gets on, there's standing room only. She says to the man: "Move your dog, I want to sit down".
"Sorry, lady, I paid for this seat and my dog stays put".
Immediately the travellers on the bus form two camps: those defending the man since he paid for the dog, and the other saying that the little old lady is entitled to sit down because she's old and frail. Tempers flare. It becomes so rowdy, with people beginning to insult the antecedents of other people, that no one can hear the radio any more, even though the driver had put it at full volume. Finally, he stops the bus, stands up, holds up his hand for quiet: "Israel", the driver says, "is a democracy. So, we'll have a vote."
The dog won.
Slightly less than a decade ago, new buses began appearing on Jerusalem's streets. At first glance, they looked a lot nicer than the antiquarian models that had greeted me when I first arrived--well, just about any bus would, since those were not only lacking in anything resembling air conditioning, they lacked upholstery, and frequently carried chickens, goats, and Yemenites who squatted in the aisles instead of sitting on the fiberglass seats. The new buses looked nicer than the more recent edition, circa 1980, which did sport upholstery, albeit dirty and stained, and had airconditioning and much less room for goats, chickens, dogs, etc. but had suspension systems in terminal paralysis.
The new buses were painted a dark, metallic green ("dead crab green" a writer to the Jerusalem Post's Letters to the Editor suggested, but I've never seen a dead crab that color) which made them almost invisible at night or in the twilight, but a large stylized "aleph" (for the first letter of "Egged") that looked like an X with a single wing was painted over the gas tank, thoughtfully providing a perfect sniper target. Later, after a number of motorists had collided with the buses, a white stripe was painted along the length of the bus at roof level. Another wag commented that someone in Egged must have a brother in the paint business, who had been stuck with several hundred gallons of forest green metallic paint and had unloaded it on the bus cooperative. It is really quite a depressing color.
Inside, there were several notable features. Seating on one side of the front part of the bus was single seat only, reducing the seating capacity by about 6 places. The seats immediately behind the driver, reserved for the blind and aged, were on a raised platform, so the person attempting to sit on one had to step up a steep step. The same was true in the rear part of the bus, which also made the aisle extremely narrow. As a result, the bus rode very low to the ground, and could "lean" even lower by hydraulics to permit people who couldn't step onto to the bus easier access, even if they couldn't manage to haul themselves into the seats reserved for the physically impaired. The rear door had a manually-operated floor panel that could be opened outwards to allow access by the wheelchair-bound -- if someone other than the person in the wheelchair would open and close it.
But what really came as a shock was that we had been led to believe that these vehicles were buses. They weren't. They are greenhouses. Made in Germany, for the cool climate and pallid sunshine of northern Europe, they have lovely giant, unopenable windows which soak up every bit of sun. Only a thin strip at the top can be opened an inch or so. In the Israeli climate, this has resulted in what I can only call "reverse air conditioning". The atmosphere in the buses is so sweltering that you actually feel cooler when you get off the bus into the usual 30 degree heat of the Jerusalem summer. And the very noisy and inadequate air conditioning (only noisy inside the bus; these buses are designed to lower outside noise pollution) replicates Turkish bath conditions with a vengeance: since we must all be ecologically-minded these days, the air conditioning does not use a refrigeration gas but passes the buses' air over a water-based cooling system, resulting in a 75% humidity inside the bus (which makes the 35C heat even hotter) while it is "only" about 35% outside. In the winter, the condensed moisture on the windows is enough to water a sizeable garden. Moreover, being built for tall Aryans, the hanging straps to clutch at (there are very few vertical bars) are far too high for most Jews, who tend to be short, to reach, which makes standing quite a perilous activity. If our older buses had rigid suspensions, these buses have the equivalent of trampolines--going over the slightest bump and everyone sways and bounces.
Advertisers soon realized that the large windows made it impossible to put large ads on the outside of the buses--so, for several years we had the strange situation where the adverts were plastered on anyway, preventing anyone from looking out, or knowing when to disembark. Now, we still have the ads, but they are cunningly printed on paper with tiny holes which let us see where we are.
It is with the utmost displeasure that I have to travel on these buses every day, usually 4 or 5 different ones. Of course, since Egged drivers are quite well paid, I'm sure they only drive in their brand new cars whenever they are off duty. Or maybe take taxis. This may be the only country in the developed world where passengers are happy to get on old buses in preference to the new ones.
I had really hoped that Egged itself would realize that these green buses do not suit and find some other supplier, but I was mistaken. Now we are getting the same buses in the longer, articulated style. Twice as much misery.
On a related topic:
A few weeks ago, something happened to the bus stop of the #18 bus on Yosi ben Yoezer St. It appeared to have collapsed, or been knocked over. Bus stops in Jerusalem are quite solid, with roofs against sun and rain, and metal on three sides, as a protection against terrorists. It's not really very easy to damage one. Some years ago, ultra-Orthodox youth burned a bunch of them, because they had "immodest" advertising, but that took some effort.
This bus stop stood in front of a small felafel/light meal restaurant run by a man named Shlomi. He does a good business, as do several other merchants with shops adjoining his, since people get on and off the bus all the time there.
It took Egged a bit of time to get its act together, but when they replaced the stop, they moved it about 50 meters down the street. Seems Shlomi had taken advantage of this very convenient "accident" to the stop to convince Egged that the stop had obscured his restaurant's window. Rumors began to circulate that he, or his father, had actually arranged for the stop's destruction. The other merchants, especially one who ran a small grocery store, named Ilan, started a counter-petition to get the stop put back right where it had been, and more than shakshouka has been simmering between them for the past couple of weeks.
I don't really care where the stop is, but this bus line is used by a lot of non-driving elderly and it is definitely difficult for some to get to the new stop. It certainly is difficult when you don't know where the bus will stop--some drivers are still stopping at the old site, and some at the new.
Today, we got resolution, of a sort. The stop was replaced at its old site. I'm sure there will be a new chapter next week. Keep tuned....
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
"Do As I Say, Not Do As I Do", or, There Appears to Be a Credibility Gap Here
Steve Greenberg Ventura County Star Jun 25, 2008 |
It was truly amazing to see Tony Blair, on TV, the other evening, making the point that unless the Palestinians can behave with the maturity and sense of responsibility that normal sovereign states show, they can forget about getting independence. To be honest, we are so used to having excuses made for the Palestinians, this was rather refreshing.
Now, either Islamic Jihad is outside the control of Hamas, in which case Hamas can hardly consider itself "governing" Gaza, or Hamas is using Islamic Jihad to do its dirty work, which means Hamas never intended to observe any truce, while demanding from the international community that Israel do so.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
I Think I'll Pass, for which I Expect DH Will Be Forever Grateful
Mike Lester Rome News Tribune Jun 3, 2008 |
Would you believe I've never even seen a single episode of the TV show? My daughters love it, btw.
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