A Geshrei

The past couple of weeks have been a real bitch. First, I manage, in my inimitable style, to sustain a Colles' Fracture of my left wrist by falling off a chair in the kitchen while tring to get some old dishes down from top-tier cupboards.

I'm left-handed.

So, while it's nice not to wash dishes, I can't do anything else--knit, crochet, embroider, write, or type with more than one finger, during my 6 weeks of being in plaster and off sick from work. This really cramps my style, as I normally touch-type quite rapidly. There is absolutely nothing to watch on TV. Thank God for my iPod. (More on that another time...)

I've never broken a bone before, so the experience is entirely new to me. Suffice it to say that setting the fracture was less painful than I anticipated, but the discomfort, at night, of the first week left me exhausted. Because I've got a bad disc problem in my back, I turn from side to side all the time. Now, repositioning my arm each time makes me wake up.

Moreover, I never realized how many activities take two hands. Putting on a bra and pulling up one's underpants (or getting them down fast enough!) is one. Slicing bread is another (you need one hand to hold the loaf). The Curly-Haired Monster thoughtfully made a giant pot of potato soup and put it in the fridge for me before going to work. It might as well be on the moon. It's too heavy to remove with one hand. It would be pleasant to report that my enforced diet is having a good effect, but since I'm not getting any exercise my daily caloric requirement must be about 500 calories and what I am eating is well in excess of that.

Adding insult to injury, about a week ago I developed the Mother and Father of All Sore Throats. Since I am a medical professional, and know the chances are it's viral (and does not need antibiotics), I merely contented myself with symptomatic remedies for about 5 days until the coughing and congestion and the inability to swallow became intolerable. Then, in violation of all good medical practice I started to take penicillin, without having done a throat culture.. I guess it wasn't a viral infection, after all because, while I'm still congested and coughing, my throat doesn't feel like it's on fire.

You cannot imagine the state of my house. I have heard it said that the 11th commandment (the one Nixon forgot to keep "wholly") is Don't Get Caught. That's wrong. It is: Mother Shall Not Be Ill.